Things I Learned on Christmas Vacation 2011

1. The desert can get cold even when the sun is shining, bring long johns!

2. Family time on a shooting range can be quite enjoyable.

3. Barrels of guns to blowup upon occasion so protective eyewear is important!

4. Death Valley is as beautiful as it is unique.

5.  Adult children are much nicer to travel with than when they were younger.

6. One should try to make it back to the trailhead before dark, especially when walking through a lava rock field.

7.Hoover Dam and the new Memorial Bridge are very cool, but don’t walk out on them if you are scared of heights.

8. Las Vegas is fascinating and strange. It was nice to visit but I wouldn’t want to live there.

9. Christmas with my young niece and nephews  was very entertaining. Kids make Christmas extra special!

10. Zion National Park was awesome! We plan on going back because there is way more to see.

 

11. Hunting for dino prints and pictographs is fascinating!

12. Traveling home on I-70 is way more scenic than I-80.

13. Green River, UT is a  hoot!

14. There is no place like home!

15. Laundry is the worst part of vacation.

16. Miss DeVo is a wonderful photographer!

 

 

Rest in Peace Roger, Rest in Peace

Eighteen years ago today, I lost my oldest brother Roger in a car accident. I will never forget the late night phone call from my father or the crack in his voice as he struggled to hold back the tears. I will never forget the feeling I felt as I heard his words. My heart was in my throat and my stomach was churning. I couldn't speak. I couldn't move.

By this time my husband had become conscious enough to know that something was terribly wrong. Somehow I must have choked out enough to inform him of what had happened. He tried his best to comfort me but I don't remember a word he said. I could not focus enough to hear him. A million thoughts were whirling in my head. Why? How? Are they sure? His kids, his wife, what were they going through? My Mom, oh the agony she must be feeling! I should call. I can't call. I don't know what to say!

I returned to bed. I didn't know what else to do. I did not sleep. I cried. I thought. I prayed. I listened to the wind outside my window and the snoring of my sleeping husband. I cried some more. I struggled with my emotions that plagued my mind, body and spirit. My very soul was shaken to its core.

Somewhere in all of this turmoil, I realized that I wasn't really shocked at his death or even how he died. For those of you who knew Roger, you knew he liked to live life on the edge; always looking for adventure and always on the go. He had always been restless and in his restlessness he was often careless. I do know he loved his family. He was a proud father of seven kids and he really did cherish them. He took them fishing (one of his most favorite pass times). He played with them, (usually this involved teasing and wrestling). He included them on camping trips and romps in the mud with his truck. He really was just a big kid at heart.

No, I wasn't really shocked that he was gone, I was sad that he was gone. Sad because of the words that I had never spoken and should have. Sad because I really did love that guy and I don't know if I ever told him. Sad because all I had left of him now was memories. They were mostly good memories. Scrabble games where he made up words that turned out to be real words. Motorcycle rides that scared the begeebers out of our mother! Football games, wrestling matches, tickle fights, and even snake wrangling. These are what I have left, but they are enough.

I truly believe that a piece of my brother lives on in everyone who knew him and cares to remember him. We all lost something wonderful that day, but we don't have to lose it all. Remember. Remember the good memories and even the bad because each one of those memories not only keeps Roger alive, it helps to keep us alive as well. Every person that God puts in our lives helps to make us who we are. We can become stronger for the memory of love or we can become weaker and live in our sorrow and regret. But Roger….he would have picked the first over the latter. I never knew him to live in sorrow or regret and I know without a doubt that he wouldn't want any of us to live that way either.

The night may have been long, several years' worth, but the joy does come, you just have to look for it.

Weeping may last for the night, but a shout of joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5b

Rest in peace Roger, rest in peace.

I questioned God today

I questioned God today. I cannot wrap my mind around the loss of my nephew's baby boy. I do not understand why….. Why him? Why now, when he is so young? Why, when his dad is halfway around the world and he never even got the chance to know his son?........ Why?.........

Einstein once said that he wanted to know the mind of God……Why?....... My guess is that Einstein was looking for Godly knowledge for purely scientific reasons. If he knew the mind of God, the entire scientific world would fit together. It would all make perfect sense and he could turn his genius mind to other more peaceful thoughts…….Einstein knew a lot of things, but he never knew the mind of God.

Would it make things any easier if I understood God? Would it justify pain and suffering? Would it make life more bearable?.......I think it would not. To see through the eyes of God must be insufferable. He sees my sorrows and suffers with me. He feels my hurting and aches with me. He knows when I can take no more and then…….He carries me. He wraps His comforting arms around me and matches my tears, drop for drop….But that is just me. What about my nephew and his wife? What about the grandparents who are grieving? What about the rest of humanity?.......God is there with them too.

I cannot fathom what God must see, what sorrows He must carry and what love he must bestow when we are at our deepest need…… And yet I question Him…… He does not lash out in anger at my lack of faith or understanding. He does not count it against me but rather He chooses to surround me with all of His being and say, "I understand child, I understand."

I cannot understand the mind of God but I rest in the peace that surpasses all understanding because I know that God understands me.

May we all have that peace, may we all have that love, and may we all have that God.

Colter Lee Redding

Dec. 18 09 - Mar. 4 10

Adventures in Blogging

Finally got my blog up and going. This is going to be my personal blog and will involve my random thinking. Sometimes sad and sometimes funny but in the end I hope it will be something you enjoy reading. Sorry, it will not involve cooking, (those of you who know me well, will know why!)