I questioned God today

I questioned God today. I cannot wrap my mind around the loss of my nephew's baby boy. I do not understand why….. Why him? Why now, when he is so young? Why, when his dad is halfway around the world and he never even got the chance to know his son?........ Why?.........

Einstein once said that he wanted to know the mind of God……Why?....... My guess is that Einstein was looking for Godly knowledge for purely scientific reasons. If he knew the mind of God, the entire scientific world would fit together. It would all make perfect sense and he could turn his genius mind to other more peaceful thoughts…….Einstein knew a lot of things, but he never knew the mind of God.

Would it make things any easier if I understood God? Would it justify pain and suffering? Would it make life more bearable?.......I think it would not. To see through the eyes of God must be insufferable. He sees my sorrows and suffers with me. He feels my hurting and aches with me. He knows when I can take no more and then…….He carries me. He wraps His comforting arms around me and matches my tears, drop for drop….But that is just me. What about my nephew and his wife? What about the grandparents who are grieving? What about the rest of humanity?.......God is there with them too.

I cannot fathom what God must see, what sorrows He must carry and what love he must bestow when we are at our deepest need…… And yet I question Him…… He does not lash out in anger at my lack of faith or understanding. He does not count it against me but rather He chooses to surround me with all of His being and say, "I understand child, I understand."

I cannot understand the mind of God but I rest in the peace that surpasses all understanding because I know that God understands me.

May we all have that peace, may we all have that love, and may we all have that God.

Colter Lee Redding

Dec. 18 09 - Mar. 4 10